Dicipline, environment and success

I recently attended a workshop and encountered the idea that success is more tied to crafting an environment that supports your success than it is to discipline. (I'd love to hear your thoughts on this in the comments.)

During the workshop, we spent hours examining what we desire and how to create an environment that would help those desires come to fruition in the future. We identified people we could ask for help or accountability, discussed conversations we needed to have to get closer to our goals—whether with ourselves or others—and reviewed past actions to determine what worked and what didn’t. Additionally, we considered decisions we could make today that would increase the likelihood of our desires becoming reality.

In this perspective, my beef with New Year's resolutions and whimsical manifestation culture finally felt addressed. I can’t stand hearing another person say to me: “all you do is declare your intentions out loud, and they will appear.”. This method doesn’t resonate with me at all, although I acknowledge that it’s a step in the right direction toward claiming agency of your desires.

What that culture lacks is grounded support.

Wishing for a miracle while cultivating an environment for it to happen makes much more sense to me.

A full commitment to your desires involves making sure it happens!

And that’s where dicipline comes handy, in the creation of the environment.

Make it so fun and easy to follow through on your commitments, with the people you love and cherish, in ways that are easy to follow through on - for you!

One classic example of this is learning a new language. Staying 2–3 months or longer in a country where that language is spoken significantly enhances your learning experience. Also, why would you learn a language other than to use it? There’s certainly something about cultures belonging to that language that excites you, so why not go there and make it fun!

Another example is the classic New Year's resolution of losing weight: instead of promising yourself that this is the year you’re going to get through months of exercise and diets (even though you never made it through febraury), then get a workout buddy, sign up for a fitness studio with classes you enjoy, pre-book your sessions in advance, make the cost of not following through high enough to keep yourself accountable (some apps donates money to the worst case imaginable to you if you don’t follow up on your desire), involve yourself in a community of people who are also losing weight, and stop going out for lunch with friends who always eat unhealthy foods.

And don’t beat yourself if none of these things work. It’s not because you lack discipline! It might be more related to the fact that the conditions weren’t right yet.

I’d say it's the highest form of self-care to support yourself in moving toward your desires in life. I’d love to see you succeed in moving towards your desires, in your own unique way with the support you need. That’s what I call self-love. And I’m also curious, what else feels true for you?