Self talk as acess to freedom

Prior to reaction and choice of action is awareness of Self talk 

Borrowing from Albert Ellis's Rational Emotive Therapy (RET)

• A: Antecedent event  - something happens.
• B: Self talk: What you make it mean, what you tell yourself.
• C: Behavior choice - what you do, actions you take, words you speak
• D: Influence on the relationship

Where you and I  can have the most impact on the outcome of our live and relationships is at B - Self talk what we make it mean. Essentially, we are obliged to distinguish for ourselves "What lies beneath our choices of action?" 

Example of poor negative outcome, negative, poor outcome 

• A: Antecedent event arriving home to find no dinner ready. 
• B: Self talk: 
  • There is something wrong here!
  • Emotions: anger, upset, outrage
• C: Behavior choice -
  • "Where's my dinner? When I come home after a long day's work I expect dinner!"
• D: Influence on the relationship - Negative -  less love, less connection, weakened relationship, poor model for raising children. 

Example of Good outcome - same antecedent event. 

• A: Antecedent event arriving home to find no dinner ready. 
• B: Self talk: 
  • This is unexpected. Curiosity and concern.
• C: Behavior choice -
  • Are you OK? Do you need something from me? I'll cook dinner tonight. 
  • I'll take the kids out for pizza. Take some time for yourself. 
• D: Influence on the relationship - Positive: love, supportive connection, caring atmosphere, good modeling for the children, and so forth 

Viktor Frankl clearly had superior Self-talk and his choice of response to horrific circumstances.