How relationships cultivate Who I Want To Be

I have this thing consistently happen in romantic relationships about 10 months in…

I find myself doing a full inventory of if my partner is helping me become who I want to be.

What am I training myself to do in this connection? What beliefs am I supporting or forming in myself through this connection?

I guess I’m often doing this throughout a relationship, but the 10 month mark is where I get the itch to make decisions about if I’ll continue or not.

I’m in this moment with my current partner…appreciating how our relationship is helping me become more open to communicating my feelings honestly, owning my needs as non negotiable (and sometimes uncompromising), push myself to communicate before things are at red alert stage, feel how big and all encompassing love can be, and I see myself as more attractive and smart because of his affirmation. However, I’m definitely learning and practicing some other things that I’m unsure of- sitting with feelings of deep missing for weeks at a time, practicing relying (almost exclusively) on non-romantic connections for support through big changes, and something around extreme letting go of possessiveness of another, which almost reads like a letting go of preferences in my system.

I think those latter things are noble. But I’m wondering…are they noble for me?

I’m reading a book right now that says something about it being somewhat easy to slip into living a life that would be noble but it’s based on someone else’s dream or ideas. And it’s important to connect with your dreams, unique ideas, purpose…

When and how do you tend to take inventory of a relationship? How do your relationships support you?

Also open to what shadows you see in my frame 👀