What keeps me up at night or what entertains me when other reasons (hormones, sugar, light/sound, etc.) keep me up at night is thinking bout awareness and what is aware of the thinking. This loop seems to never bore me and although i fear it’s some kind of loop that keeps me stuck. Live in thoughts like i don’t know anything for sure except for that. The loops are a life constant and also part of the fun of living. Is this a bypassing. Is this a distraction from something deeper.
Aware i’m thinking and typing now. What is noticing this. Sometimes the answer is just my mind is noticing and there isn’t much awareness of the entire view of this happening from a spot on the wall in this room, or from above looking at the roof of my office.
Is this even followable? The rambling thoughts?
What lately has been getting me to the wider awareness outside of it’s all in the mind
is time. Have I ever typed before? Had thoughts before and been aware of the thoughts before? this awareness of this self over time feels much wider and less I
like.
This is what i’ve been thinking bout in the middle of the night when I can’t sleep. Does it keep me up? Or is this so much more relaxing and fun then thinking bout bills and the to do lists ahead or the incompletely to do lists behind?