Thank you for your response and clarity. I feel heard and considered.
I'm enjoying the circling. Witnessing peoples bodies and hearing their impact is a positive experience. Other people's connections that clearly have historical context is joyful to me, and has broken some paradigms I have around monogamy being an insurmountable barrier to forming deep bonds outside of the couple form.
The act of trying on someone's experience has been valuable and something I've been bringing into other conversations I have in my life with people I care about. I do notice in the context of the circle though without more details about people's stories and behaviors me trying them on feels like a blanket of mirrors. Like I'm hearing them speak and I'm more imagining scenarios from my life that are similar enough to pull from and kind of mesh together. Which includes making a lot of assumptions and filling in story details I don't feel like I can ask for. I see this as a muscle worth building in my circling going forward.
I am feeling a longing for and a struggle with building friendship towards anyone in the practice. I think due to the constraints of the format but I also have a feeling and sometimes a peace with that not being the goal of the exercises.
I don't see myself blocking it but I also haven't accessed an especially vulnerable part of myself yet in the circle.
Both times now though when I get home I start journaling and I experience a lot of inner growth and an ability to granulize some of my feelings and stories that I hadn't had before the circle. I appreciate that.