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Daily Alchemy: a question to think on together
“When a close relationship ends, whether by breakup, drifting apart, or going quiet, what helps you hold the good it gave you without carrying it as a loss?”
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- annabeth...
You’re doing sex wrong: What I wish everyone knew about the emotional presence, physical skill, and energetic magnitude of blissful, fulfilling sex.
Emotional Presence Orgasm is a paltry goal Orgasms aren’t always a clear yes-or-no thing for me. There’s an ever-growing range of pleasurable experiences that I call “orgasm,” and the one I’m certain would be widely agreed upon as an orgasm is the least pleasurable one for me... Emotional Processing is NOT a Healthy Relationship Practice
You may know that I am not about verbal emotional processing. I define this as “speaking about the issues between us while they’re happening.” It can also apply to clearing old resentments or revealing withheld hurt.... How relationships cultivate Who I Want To Be
I have this thing consistently happen in romantic relationships about 10 months in… I find myself doing a full inventory of if my partner is helping me become who I want to be. What am I training myself to do in this connection?... Monogamy v polyamory
Is monogamy better? Is poly better? Is there an overall norm for people, with exceptions? Is it totally pluralistic? Here are some points for monogamy, with some counter points, to convey some of my uncertainty but nevertheless leaning into what I’ve chosen: Point: I don’t know a... You're codependent but luckily codependency isn't bad
Picture it, two astronauts floating deep in space. Don't worry how they got here, just know that they're floating so close they can touch. Do you know how space works? If we're in space and I actually bump you or something bumps into me...we'll float...away...possibly forever.... - Arun...
The assumption is "I should tell you about the worst things I'm feeling. The most important thing is the worst feeling or event that has transpired between us lately. It’s natural that that will be the center of my attention.... Erotic energy is often not about sex
I think it is mostly an impulse to create something together. I don’t have a good model for the causal mechanism of how it works, but I think that attraction essentially hints at a specific potential between the two parties.... I think about boundaries as how I’m able to operate while being who I am. Eg. I don’t have generally strong boundaries around being yelled at because I can generally operate with an open heart while being yelled at.... - Thea...
We need to stop shaming small dicks
OK this was meant to be anonymous cos I don't want to be slut shamed ... But I can't create a second anon account right now, looks like that anon account is just going to the wait list.... I've also thought about this and seen similar things. I think sexuality is extremely deeply tied into all our machinery because of evolution, so I'm sure you can find examples of all sorts of complex configurations.... - Sara Schultz...
I am the luckiest (but mostly the best).
Today is the 9th anniversary of my first date with Jeff and, at 31 years old, I am struck by how incredibly blessed I am to have been with a partner for almost a decade and to truly feel that over 3,285 days of knowing with him I really have grown to love him more every day.... - Fooljeff...
How easily we join in the mockin' chorus even when our own experience tells us a different story. How we ignore that fuckin' stab of conscience, that whisper that says, "This ain't right." We do it to belong, to seem worldly, to avoid confrontin' our own insecurities.... How much stock do you put in the concept of only taking advice from people that have the kind of life or [insert x quality/trait] that you also want?... Somebody you feel sexually attracted to AND…they’re dumb at what you’re smart at and smart at what you’re dumb at…guy with a 40 hour work week….blue polo shirt on…he’s a nerd…his name is Steve or Brian.... Read the full post- annabeth...
Nope, still AWOL. But I’ve consistently looked at my desire to do the "Is everything ok?" text or call, and each time didn’t find the true desire to reconnect. I actually have a pretty funny theory of what happened.... - Fab...
We don't always have to feel connected with ourselves first to connect with others. Sometimes, I find myself in connecting with the other.
Waiting to feel a certain way to join others, like waiting to lose weight to start going to dances; or waiting to feel confident to make that call we dread; or waiting for "signs" to talk with your partner and tell them you've thinking about separating (you thinking about it IS... - josefine...
Envy and desire
I’ve been studying quite intensively with Kasia Urbaniak this summer. One thing she’s focusing on is something she calls emotional alchemy: moving emotions and "cooking them" so that they can lead us towards what we want. One example she talks about is turning envy into desire.... - nat...
@blasomenessphemy had started a Flow Session with this question and it has stayed with me: "What if you risk acceptance?" That’s what came to mind regarding the 10-month evaluation and making decisions to prevent future heartbreak, etc.... - josefine...
Celebrating you finding clarity in that you simply don’t have to. I find this idea really refreshing. And when I try it on I want to elaborate on the idea to bring in more love: I don’t have to care for my friend postpartum, and I want to tell her about that choice.... - josefine...
I hear and enjoy the first part here: recreating the same imbalance in its opposite. I’m surprised to hear you have a difficulty finding grounded healthy masculine men. In my own personal experience the world is abundant of men that are solid in their masculinity....