Today I reunited with my Jungian therapist after his two-month absence.

Today I reunited with the Jungian analyst, R., who I’ve been working with since October. The two-week absence that he had planned in mid-April stretched into six weeks when his spouse had a major medical event overseas. During an intense and catalytic six-week period of my life, R. was unavailable.

What was it like for you? he asked me today. The cancellations, the not-knowing what was going on.

For a moment, I was irritated with him for making these minutes of the session about him. But it was a good question. The six weeks of separation hovered between us in the room. So I humored him, played along. Over time, I’ve learned not to reject his ideas about what might be good. Sometimes he’ll get going about a German fairy tale, or a scene from Star Wars. As he gets to the point of the story, my initial irritation often gives way to resonance and awe.

So I answered his question.

I coped by diminishing your importance, I told him. The words surprised me as they came out of my mouth. In my mind, I began to devalue our work. I thought to myself that I didn’t need you anyway.

I pulled a few tissues out of the box and wept.

If these tears could talk, what would they say? he asked.

I paused a long time, checking.

I don’t want to pretend not to need anything, I replied.

Or anyone, he said.