existentialism

A More Humble Humanity. There are moments in our lives where we harmonize with the things that are around us. It happens when what truly matters to us individually finds its way into the deepest layer of our core being. Softly it whispers to the soul, signaling a connection to humanity. It triggers when we fall in love, experience joy in a child’s laughter – watching them take their first steps and as they learn to run, we clutch the double-edged sword of heartbreak and joy knowing that they too, are now loved by someone who was once a stranger. 

Life is designed to coexist and the evidence of that is found in the number of different species who share the capacity of our humble planet. Intelligence places us at the top of the food chain and we rank ourselves as the most superior, but knowledge demands recognition of all things. We’re conscious enough to meditate on our choices, learn from past mistakes, and contemplate our purpose but our ego paints a dystopian fantasy that we are worthy of something beyond life.

The throne to the universe, however, sits out of reach along the edge of time and with it is a covenant that stipulates the key to its successor must first understand harmony as it is the prerequisite to the balance between chaos and creation. The responsibility to usher in stability to the world falls on the shoulders of humanity specifically because we have the intuitive blend of harnessing nature and enough awareness to interact with the universe.  

Earth is the offspring of the Milky Way galaxy and a descendant of the cosmos. She harbors the necessary conditions for life to thrive. She reminds us that the sands of her beaches, the waves that crash onto her shores, the mountains whose peaks we challenge, the trees that enrich the air, the plants that provide sustenance, and the land in which we draw invisible lines; all belong to her.

Our intentions are shallow – pervaded with the temperament of the callow youth. We do not regard Earth as the curator for life, though she is our only home, and petulantly we track the mud of our endeavors from sea to shining sea. Hubris annexes our humanity while we storm foreign sanctuaries, soak the ground with the blood of their kin, and declare that it’s for the freedom of all. Steadfast she remains against the solemn force of Sol, shielding her children from the scorch of torrid incendiaries. Arrogantly we proclaim power by destroying peace and in the wake of disaster, we pray, while in the interest of humanity, we create disaster.

Earth is a scholar, her library of knowledge preserves trillions of encyclopedias detailing the history and architecture of the cosmos. But yesterday’s headlines discussed who reigns supreme as the richest person alive. Where stars collide, nebulas nurture the formation of new planets and where galaxies merge, the iridescent scintillate of new stars flicker into existence. Meanwhile the social constructs built around culture and religion determine we, who exist on one planet among trillions, are the center of attention.

Who are we to make that determination when, despite our best efforts, we fail to find balance in the societal constructs that we engineered? If humanity is at all serious, we’d pause and consider that maybe what is setting us back is our inability to understand the true importance of our own existence and realize that it is far more costly to go to war than it is to find a solution that benefits us all. Division, prejudice, and war are the downfall of humanity, but finding balance frees us from the constraints that we are not required to live by. 

Inherent Meaning . Does life have inherent meaning? 

Is emotional control possible?

Your old story kept you safe. Your new story lets you live. Would love to hear your old story compare to the new.

Enough/not enough are the same. If you’ve lived in the shadow of not-enoughness for most of your life, there often comes a moment where you declare “I am enough!” It feels glorious! Triumphant!

It’s a step forward, I guess. But it keeps the whole busted frame in place. 

“Enough” and “not enough” are built from the same mental overlay, which frankly is bullshit. You are. That’s unquestionable, and there were no requirements for your being. American culture, or your parents, or Instagram may have convinced you that you had to earn your right to exist (or be loved) but they lied.

One reason we make this mistake is because the frame of “enough” legitimately applies to specific goals: if I don’t have enough gas to drive to Louisiana, I won’t make it there. If I don’t have enough followers, I won’t get the brand sponsorship. But these all concern capacity relative to goals, not existence. Enoughness cannot be a statement of being. Being is. It’s tautological. Recognizing this tautology is transformative, because it undermines the whole edifice of enough/not-enough.

#TTT 

When you take one path. When you take one path, all other paths die and are left behind.

Such is the weight of all our choices.

But I'm not good at letting things die. I keep going back and dragging half-alive corpses around. Abomination!

You stink of the dead. Mark your endings and grieve them, foul beast!

Your self doesn't ultimately exist. . Your self doesn't ultimately exist.    

What can silence teach us? What do you know in the silence of your mind that you forget in the storm of thinking?

More People Should Die. Elderly people should be able to legally choose to end their life when they’re ready. In fact, any adult should be legally allowed to choose to die. They should be able to invite people, be present for their memorial service, and have a medical professional end their life.

And we should be more present with death in society. People should be able to attend their loved ones’ cremations. Embalming should be illegal.

I Don't Have To. I’ve had an intellectual understanding that I don’t have to do things, but I’ve recently realized that it was tethered to old beliefs. I don’t have to visit my grandmother if I’m willing to be a bad granddaughter/bad person. or I don’t have to buy my friend a birthday present if I’m willing to be a shitty friend.

I’m freshly looking at a new version of I don’t have to which is just a literal seeing of reality without the tether. I don’t have to clean up my stepmother’s hoarding house after she dies. It’s just true, I literally don’t have to.