First there’s desire.

And desire is horribly uncomfortable.

And so you become fixated on the object. You become attached to fulfilling your desire, so as to free yourself from the horrible discomfort.

And you start figuring out how to control the world so that you get the thing you desire.

But then something magic happens: once you start thinking about how to control the world, you’re no longer feeling your desire, and it’s no longer horribly uncomfortable.

And now you can spend your days suspended and separate from your desire and the object of your desire, just comfortably numb, thinking about how to get it and what you’ll do when you do get it, or how terrible it is that you don’t have it, or how terrible it will be if you don’t get it.

And all of that is infinitely more comfortable than feeling, in your body, in your guts, in your heart, in your loins, the actual burning, living desire.