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self help
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Daily Alchemy: a question to think on together
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Emotional Processing is NOT a Healthy Relationship Practice
You may know that I am not about verbal emotional processing. I define this as “speaking about the issues between us while they’re happening.” It can also apply to clearing old resentments or revealing withheld hurt.... This reminds me of a conversation I recently had where a few layers down they realized they were afraid of being a terrible person and dying alone. And I was like, excellent, it sounds like making peace with being a terrible person and dying alone will free up a lot of energy for... How relationships cultivate Who I Want To Be
I have this thing consistently happen in romantic relationships about 10 months in… I find myself doing a full inventory of if my partner is helping me become who I want to be. What am I training myself to do in this connection?... - renee...
My therapist says...
if you have a disorder (I’d call this an undesired response + occurring regularly), don’t apply any strategies, any self-regulating methods to meet the stimulus. Don’t try to lower the fear. Any safety strategies will likely keep it in place.... - josefine...
Love and play are our natural states of being
Underneath everything is love. If I can’t feel the love, I know there’s something I’m not including in my experience. I must be slightly dissociated if I can’t access some touch of gratitude, love, awe, or flow.... On the plethora of Therapeutic modalities
There's a genre of book that's the therapy modality book. They're all the same. They go I was a therapist and what I was doing wasn't working, and then I discovered <specific technique the book is advocating> and then it cured me and all my clients and now things are great and... - Arun...
The assumption is "I should tell you about the worst things I'm feeling. The most important thing is the worst feeling or event that has transpired between us lately. It’s natural that that will be the center of my attention.... Owning activation while posting
A bottleneck I’m encountering is some belief that I shouldn’t post or respond when I’m triggered but there’s a lot of motility and I need to do something new.... Children ought to do meaningful work. Adults ought to do their work like children. However much work is right for a child is the right amount for an adult. That pace is the correct pace for an adult to remain a beginner in all things.... - annabeth...
- onWe don't always have to feel connected with ourselves first to connect with others. Sometimes, I find myself in connecting with the other.by
When i read this i get a sense of neutrality / beingness in what you're noticing—like it is simply a fact that we sometimes find ourselves through others; not necessarily good, bad, healthy, unhealthy, etc. I really appreciate this and it softens me. Appreciating you Fab.... - onWe have the option to see everything in your life as collaborative; we are scared to say this because we don't want to victim-blame but we're also scared of the possibilities and transcendence that opens upby
I love how you address the victim-blaming this can seem to be. The inner and outer are so entwined, as soon as I learn something about how I work it's immediately tempting to apply it to other people!... - onWhat are some of your uncertainties? Experiences of failure (that maybe you still haven't turned into learnings yet?) Obvious realizations?byzookatron...
I don't have any deep reflections on this but I just want to say thank you so much for sharing. I've had a huge opening lately around seeing how much perfectionism has run my life and how much in denial I have been about it.... - Arun...
I really like the gaze + small movements – seems almost like a somatic reminder that it's not as bad as it seems to be because look, movement is actually possible.... My first thought here is not a practical one. Surfaces are easy to see, definitionally. Depths are hard to see. So much that is vitally important exists in the invisible.... From the perspective of projection, what's Trump symbolize in you?
Is it something in you that you haven’t loved yet? Is it something in you that you haven’t boundaried appropriately? What else? Sometimes to do this kind of thought experiment i interpret my waking life as if it were a dream.... Making sense of "Love Money, Money Loves You"
At work the book "Love Money, Money Loves You" by Sarah McCrum came up, so I read it. Broadly speaking, I don’t recommend it. It gestures toward some perspectives I think will be very personally rewarding, on topics including: value, service, exchange, agency, and happiness.... Being In Love
Love is somewhere to be. Being in Love is nowhere to get. Journeying to love is a beingness outside of love. Love is somewhere to be. I cannot get there. Seeing myself trying to get there is seeing my opportunity to choose to be there.... - david...
Dancing with the World Wound
Have you ever felt like you were born at the wrong time? I was only six years old when Woodstock happened, and humans first stepped on the moon. Amazing times, but I always felt like I had been born slightly out of tune with time.... How to make skills of depth/presence/development legible to others?
I've had this fantasy for the past year of creating a YT live stream show that features different teachers, facilitators, healers of different modalities and somehow make legible what they're doing to a larger audience....