theology

Hey what's up uppies I'm just here uptrusting at the best time of the week, Friday night! I'm here to share my most popular blog post from February when I wrote a blog post every day. Here it is!

musings on god

As someone interested in sharing ideas and perspective and frameworks about living well, it feels right to share my relationship with God, who might be described as the ultimate mental model. I’m shaking my hands and doing vocal exercises over here because I don’t want to cling to a desire to find perfect phrases or descriptions, good is good. I’m also letting go of a desire for you to receive these words any particular way. In a sense, this one is a dialogue between me and God, and you are also in the room with us, listening.

I’m quite cerebral, thinky, logical, and this extends to my conceptions of God. A Christian evangelical friend has pointed out this trait of mine during a few conversations we’ve had. God, as a concept, is Big. Infinite, even. I’d really love some ironclad proof towards His existence if I am to priortize Him in the long arc of my life.

As a kid, I had a conversation with my youth pastor about what I saw as the pros and cons of being a Christian. I told him that I didn’t particularly care about reading the Bible or going to church or doing good works, but heaven sounds pretty great. The pastor assured me that I can indeed go to heaven just by accepting Jesus into my heart, and so I did that with his guidance right then and there in the Panera Bread. We drove to a bookstore and he bought me a Bible, and then he drove me home and relayed the good news to my parents.

A few weeks later the burden of proof became burdensome to my discerning mind, and I revoked my membership as a Christian.

Skip ahead to recent years where I have lived in Austin, Texas, a testament to the profound influence of my environment on who I am. A flurry of connections, events, retreats, and self-study have led me to enjoy the existence of God*. That’s God with an asterisk because it’s the spiritual-but-not-religious God, the God who would never send anyone to hell, the God who just wants us to enjoy our lives, man. It’s a big tent God and we’re all welcome inside because the proof is like water to humanity’s school of fish. The sun on my face and this latte’s great taste and all of life’s little abundances are proof of God, full stop.

So now we come to the ultimate question without an answer. Everyone has their take on God and religion and faith and heaven and hell, and my relationship with God is up to me, no pressure. It’s my responsibility to sift through the incense and the nonsense to have a relationship with God that makes sense? feels right? is resonsant? with who I am.

Of course I am sympathetic to the conceptions of God that do not ask me to fundamentally change as a person, that do not ask me to jump through a collection of seemingly arbitrary hoops, but God knows that about me! Obviously! And this might be the trick of a God in my life, a lovely sort of paradox, one that I have noticed also holds true for human relationships.

To elaborate: when you need something from someone, they resist giving it to you. When you don’t need anything from anyone, people give stuff to you. The God-as-I-currently-conceive-of-Him doesn’t really ask me for anything, and so I talk with Him and I express gratitude towards Him and I meditate on Him and I do my best to live a life of service that is authentic to who I am as a person, a person uniquely crafted by God, as all people are.

Again, this is all Quite Convenient for me, I don’t want to downplay that facet of my current relationship with God. A me from some time ago who was more prone to paranoia and self-doubt might have feared that this is all a trick of the devil who has succeeded in nudging me away from accepting specifically Jesus into my heart or having a specifically Christian faith. That fear is vanishingly small now but it persists, anything is possible.

I admit to a sort of hubris in all of my attempts to apply my human logic to God. God is beyond, more than, infinite. Life often only makes sense looking backwards. God knows that I view the general positive trajectory of my life over the past years as His tacit approval of the evolution of my relationship with Him. I enjoy my relationship with this God of mine informed by vibes and the Tao Te Ching and the spirituality of people who I admire, and I’m open to this relationship shifting radically, instantly, profoundly. It’s an ongoing conversation, perhaps the most fulfilling, enjoyable, and comforting conversation that I am so fortunate to have. Amen!

knives out wake up dead man good spiritual film. Recently, I saw knives out wake up dead man on Netflix and was surprised at how poignant and special some of the scenes with the earnest priest were.

In many ways, it kind of reminds me of how this Uptrusting platform is trying to be.

In one scene, the earnest priest and the atheist detective are talking about the Catholic Church. A bit of a tense scene as I was watching with a devout Catholic with me as the detective named all the ills and lies of the church.

But at the end, the priest responds, "it's true these are all just likely stories and make believe pageantry. But the real question is whether these stories lead to a beautiful truth or a terrible lie?

It reminds me of Ernest Becker's Denial of Death where he takes an existential view that everything humans do from ambitious projects to having kids are attempts to avoid the vital lie of our mortality.

I asked at a Becker conference, is there any way out of this trap of whatever I do being based on a lie to avoid the truth of my mortality?

One scholar responded, I suppose it depends whether the vital lie is delusional or illuminating. Does it bring out truth or is it covering it over?

Anyway, strong recommend to the film. The detective who-done-it was also spectacular.

Is having children selfish or selfless? Controversial question/interesting discussion time!

Is having children a selfish or a selfless act?

I'll put my thoughts in comments - would love to hear yours :)

The Gospel of Thomas. I like the Gospel of Thomas a lot. Any other fans here? It is so much cleaner than the canonical gospels. No miracles, no biography, pure wisdom.

I see many things that I want to interpret with my current understanding. What's your reaction?

"but I have said that who among you will become a little child will know the kingdom" -> inner child work

"If you do not know yourselves, then you will be in deprivation and you will be deprivation itself." -> a pointer to shadow work

"Jesus said, You see the speck in your brother’s eye but not the beam in your own eye. When you take the beam out of your own eye, then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye." -> you know when you project and don't realize? and you try to help another and you can't, because you yourself are not healed? (it happened to me)

"Those who do not hate their father and mother cannot be my disciples, and those who do not hate their brothers and sisters and bear the cross as I do will not be worthy of me" -> find the anger!

"Lucky the man who has suffered and found life." -> It's good to do grief work, and release.

"Seek and you will find." -> the intention counts, everything else will follow

"Jesus said: Whoever drinks from my mouth will become like me. I myself shall become that person, and the hidden things will be revealed to that one." -> if you do circling with me your shadow will be revealed ;-) 

On public shaming – the Biblical perspective.
I'm new to this website but I felt called to respond to this prompt–

These past few months, I have noticed that my underlying value system (developed over years of working on the self) is reflected fairly well in the Bible.

Here are a few scriptures that resonate for me on this subject

Orienting towards Forgiveness

Matthew 18:21–22 “Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, ‘Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?’ Jesus answered, ‘I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.’”

Christ has already died for all the sins of all of humanity (you are welcome to disagree here), so in a sense, all the poor quality actions of all humans have already been forgiven at a cosmic/karmic scale. That is the Truth. So forgiving someone is you aligning with that Truth. Now don't confuse forgiveness for an absence of boundaries here. There is a man from my community who regularly writes hateful comments on my posts, essays, contents in different places. Each of the comment hurts momentarily. I forgive him (because he is already forgiven by the crucifixion of Christ) and then block him on the new Internet surface he has managed to locate me on.

Private Correction First

Matthew 18:15-17 “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you… If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church.”

Emphasizing a graduated approach–starting privately, escalating only if needed, and always with the goal of reconciliation, not shaming.

Restore Gently

Galatians 6:1

“Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should 

restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted.”

This one is the hardest and the one that most humans have really struggled with following through history (including myself). The easiest entry point for devilish behavior is in naming someone else's perceptibly devilish behavior. This is reflected in modern day "cancel culture" or in slogans like "Nazis don't deserve kindness". Christians have shown their own susceptibility to this via witch-burning and telling "sinners" that they are "going to hell". It requires gentleness, softness and slowness in restoring someone who has acted wrongly to the Holy Spirit while yourself staying connected to the Holy Spirit. I made a reaction video recently that captures how easy it is to fall prey to poor behavior while condemning a man who has wronged and how powerful it is to stay connected to kindness instead.

Rebuke Leaders in Front of Others

1 Timothy 5:20

“But those elders who are sinning you are to 

reprove before everyone, so that the others may take warning.”

Public rebuke can serve a function of protecting the community, which is where cancel culture started. But it has slipped into the shadows as who is labelled a "public figure" has gotten diluted.

To close this out, I am reminded of the episode where a woman caught in adultery is about to be stoned and Jesus interrupts it saying–

John 8:7-11 “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone…” 
“Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more.”

This shows two things. Firstly, putting up boundaries when people sin (consider a synonym for poor behavior) in response to someone else's sin, is critical because otherwise the community gets infected with sin. Secondly, while doing so, ensuring that you also ask the original sinner to stop their poor behavior is important too. But both should be done from a restorative orientation.

Grace is our collective safeguard against the society becoming drenched in sin.

We need to recover the idea of the Soul from its destruction at the hands of modern metaphysics and its distortion in traditional Christianity.

Modernity dismantled the notion of the soul. It took the human being apart to see how we work and said "well, there's no part labelled soul in here, so I guess that's not a thing."

But we actually implicitly live as if there were such a thing as a soul. We experience ourselves as souls, and the people around us as souls. 

So to align with modern metaphysics, we have to pretend this is not the case, in exactly the same way that, eg, traditional Christians pretend to believe that people go to heaven when they die.

This pretending causes us great unnecessary distress, and we would be happier, more whole, and more aligned with reality if we recovered a notion of the soul.

BUT WATCH OUT!

Because one of the candidate notions of the soul is that provided by traditional Christianity, and it's a candidate that a lot of people are turning to in response to the problem above. But traditional Christianities notion of the soul is a gross distortion. It sees the soul as a *thing* which you *posses*, that is fragile and susceptible to the dangers of the world, and must be protected from temptation and corruption, through your human lifetime, so that it can arrive intact in paradise. And this is horrendously confused.

We need new notions, new creativity in this area, and a willingness for smart, rational, scientifically literate people to recover the language of the soul.

#DeepTakes

I like using the word "God.". I understand that a lot of people feel like it’s too vague and easy to misinterpret. But I don’t want to throw out such a beautiful, big part of human history because of a level-line fallacy - confusing all of Religion or the spiritual line of development for the Amber/conformist/fundamentalist version of a particular religion.

I wish i could more clearly articulate why I love the word and what I mean by it, but right now all I’ve got it’s this antithesis.

Experiment: How is whatever's happening serving the greater good? If we zoom out long enough, we can often see that massive setbacks created foundations for evolution. Eg:

• The great oxygenation wiped out almost all life on Earth, but also created the atmosphere.
• The extinction of the dinos paved the way for bigger mammals—and eventually humans.
• Industrialization put tons of people out of work and polluted like crazy, but coincided with some of the greatest quality of life increases in recorded history
• In Trump and a Post Truth World, Ken Wilber suggests that Trump’s 2016 win was one manifestation of evolution taking a step backward to correct the way the “Green meme” went unhealthy—because the one thing that Trump was coherent about back then was being anti-pluralistic.

What’s a thing in the world that you don’t like right now, and think is a huge step backward, that might also be a step forward? How so?

By design, this is an unverifiable experiment from a third person perspective. Since we can keep zooming out + everything is interconnected, we’ll probably never know for sure, even if we live for thousands of years. 

But by design, this is verifiable from a first person perspective: Does your experience improve or change in any way by the experiment? How so?

(note that this doesn't ask you to deny any suffering—such as the horror of the oxygenation event's great extinction, or stop trying to make things better. Like everything, this perspective can be misused. "Everything happens for a reason" is usually dismissive, "if there were a reason for this in the long run, what might it be?" is additive. Like allowing versus expressing, it's not about bypassing the difficulty but rather creating a larger container for it. Freedom comes through acceptance rather than resistance.)

#TTT 

I like using the word "God.". I understand that a lot of people feel like it’s too vague and easy to misinterpret. But I don’t want to throw out such a beautiful, big part of human history because of a level-line fallacy - confusing all of Religion or the spiritual line of development for the Amber/conformist/fundamentalist version of a particular religion.

I wish i could more clearly articulate why I love the word and what I mean by it, but right now all I’ve got it’s this antithesis.

... No belief is true, no matter how popular or plausible

👽 aliens and angels 👼 . We’re driving on 620, passing one of those statue places that has a bunch of big metal dinosaurs, big green alien statues, flamingo statues, etc.

Me, to Jack: What do you see buddy?
Jack: A flamingo!
Jordan: Yes! What else?
Jack: An angel
Jordan: Yeah, where?
Jack: The big green thing

What do you make of this?

I’m starting to take this idea pretty seriously: the universe is filled with subtle energy beings that have some overlap with our realm, and some not.

One of the strange factors about the beings/energy is that it can’t be perceived directly in the concrete realm through our normal five senses, so we have unique APIs that translate these beings into a cultural context that makes sense. So the same being could be seen as an angle, or a hindu god, or an alien, or simply energy depending on the person. My guess is this helps account for plant teachers, DMT entities, UAPs, etc.; although I realize this is extremely hand wavey on the details.