Navigating Unique Soul vs Surrender to Truth/God

I had a surprise event in last few days where my long term plans were seriously challenged.

And it brought into seeming conflict my personal vision of what I’ve been trying to build the past 6 months versus surrendering to life and letting it unfold me.

I could see that holding onto what I thought was firm was causing me suffering and needed to let the sadness let go of this future expectation. But, it also felt like letting go of my vision.

It’s hard because I know there’s a failure, bad case of both extremes.

Surrender to God/Equanimity can be taken as a resigned fatalism/passivism.
Empowering Unique Soul can be taken as narcissistic egoism.

I know there’s a third way yet right now it’s hard for me to see it?