I have utilized two different strategies with two different family members. My brother has become so angry that I chose not to engage for the sake of family unity. My BIL, used to send me emails full of his talking points....
The over-the-topness is interesting, because on the one hand it's the classic attention-grab move, and on the other, it's actually helpful to show the distinction.
I like the vibe you're going for, but I think optics is a harder problem than you've said. Your frame implies a level of honesty and sincerity in the counterparties that I don't think we can actually say is there....
Great job, Jordan! You ooze charisma.
Loved: The point about X and FB having an unconscious incentive structure, and there being no bad guys is brilliant because it shifts energy away from finger-pointing that can be put toward making things better....
This more general question is really important to me. I had a very negative experience just going with the "I trust you," vibe for years and then ending up with a feeling of shock and betrayal....