coaching

Micro-transformation: unitive practice from Russian Orthodoxy ☦︎. Fun fact: Ceaselessly, inwardly repeating the Jesus prayer “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me” from your heart has consistently led to stabilized unitive state-stages (Theosis) for more than a millennium. 

This practice is called the Hesychasm. It’s been officially recognized by the Eastern Orthodox Church since the fourth century. I’ve been playing with it as much as possible for the past few weeks, and I am loving it. It is very powerful. 

Then! In the early 1900s, hesychast monks on Mt. Athos took it a step further. Their results were so radical that in 1913, the Russian government sent troops to stop them! 

What was the shift? Their actions were the same—they aimed to engage the Jesus Prayer every moment of every day. But my (very limited) understanding is that their attitude reframed prayer from a practice that petitions for union with God one day that isn’t now — to an expression of divine essence (nonduality) right now. Prayer is not a behavior you do; prayer is God happening. Faithfully seeking IS participation as found-ness.

What’s so beautiful is that seeing it this way resolves the seeming duality between “no where to get, no one to get enlightened” and “but I’m not yet aware that I’m enlightened.” That thought itself expresses the divine. As does practicing.* We can see this parallel in every mystical tradition I’ve studied.

Variations on Imiaslavie 

Here’s a way I’ve been playing with this practice.

I shift the “me” that I’m asking mercy for (from my heart), when I say “have mercy on me” to be wildly more inclusive than my particular body-mind-character-Jordanness. Eg:

• “me” including whoever I’m judging or mad at
• “me” including whoever I’m speaking with or looking at
• “me” including all of humanity, or a people, or a country, or a world leader (especially one I judge)
• “me” including all plants, animals, and living creatures—a bug in my house for example

I think the “including” part is really important. I’m not praying for these beings as separate from me, but rather as extensions of me, or expansions of who I identify with. If this doesn’t make sense, a place you might want to start is with your family, especially if you’re a parent of young children.

I want to honor the lineage and centuries of practice by noting that I may be totally butchering the practice and theology. Although I believe it reflects the view of Gregory Palamas, a 13th century saint famous for defending hesychast spirituality, I haven’t run this by any practitioners or been advised by anyone else doing this practice. Nevertheless I share it because I believe it’ll be asymmetrically positive, and, especially with this caveat, I believe in the value of our civilization experimenting and adapting practices from a variety of ancient and time-prove lineages that are good for all.

(h/t Sean Esbjörn-Hargens for turning me onto this practice),  #TTT 

I like my Relateful sessions like I like my takes… deep and hot. The coaching industry remains one of the last truly free markets, and we are about to witness the beauty of an unregulated ecosystem in action. The industry is undergoing a natural correction—one driven not by government oversight, but by the marketplace itself, which is beginning to self-organize in hierarchies sourced from quality, wisdom, and genuine experience.

The best part? The product itself—coaching—is evolving. As consumer discernment grows, the market is demanding greater depth, skill, and true transformational capacity.

For years, the unregulated coaching industry has been producing coaches promising transformation, many of whom, let’s be honest, are mostly full of cookie cutter sayings and emotionally charged buzz words, lacking the true depth and nuance needed to facilitate transformation. 

These coaches have achieved tremendous success in conventional terms, making millions of dollars and selling out events by developing business building skills like funnel creation, ad conversion strategies, sales processes, and more.

Meanwhile, many of the most gifted healers and practitioners of transformation have been mostly unrecognized and living essentially unheard of, many of them lacking the business building capacities needed to grow a vibrant business and get the word out to the world about what is available.

The result? Those with marketing and business savvy have dominated the industry, often outpacing those who possess the real art of facilitation. Meanwhile, the true healers and transformational leaders have struggled to gain traction, lacking the business building capacities needed to scale their impact.

And the more famously lamented result: the growing group of quasi pyramid scheme “coaches coaching coaches on selling coaching to coaches.”

Why is this happening? Facilitation and business building are two entirely different domains of mastery.

What’s happening now? The market is getting smarter. Clients are becoming more discerning. The demand for real, lasting transformation is rising, and with it, a new hierarchy for practitioners of transformational facilitation—one based on skill, depth, and authentic results—is emerging.

Celebrating the unregulated market response. We are about to witness, in real time, how a free market itself catalyzes transformation in the transformational coaching industry, leading to a better, richer experience for everyone involved.

Addendum: Opportunities for Collaboration:

There is an opportunity for these 2 paths of Mastery to service each other:

1. What if business-building coaches helped transformational coaches turn their gifts into thriving, scalable businesses?

2. What if transformational coaches helped business builders develop the depth, wisdom, and skill to deliver real, lasting transformation?

3. What if these two groups coached each other, exchanged mastery, and elevated the entire industry?

I like my Relateful sessions like I like my takes… deep and hot. The coaching industry remains one of the last truly free markets, and we are about to witness the beauty of an unregulated ecosystem in action. The industry is undergoing a natural correction—one driven not by government oversight, but by the marketplace itself, which is beginning to self-organize in hierarchies sourced from quality, wisdom, and genuine experience.

The best part? The product itself—coaching—is evolving. As consumer discernment grows, the market is demanding greater depth, skill, and true transformational capacity.

For years, the unregulated coaching industry has been producing coaches promising transformation, many of whom, let’s be honest, are mostly full of cookie cutter sayings and emotionally charged buzz words, lacking the true depth and nuance needed to facilitate transformation. 

These coaches have achieved tremendous success in conventional terms, making millions of dollars and selling out events by developing business building skills like funnel creation, ad conversion strategies, sales processes, and more.

Meanwhile, many of the most gifted healers and practitioners of transformation have been mostly unrecognized and living essentially unheard of, many of them lacking the business building capacities needed to grow a vibrant business and get the word out to the world about what is available.

The result? Those with marketing and business savvy have dominated the industry, often outpacing those who possess the real art of facilitation. Meanwhile, the true healers and transformational leaders have struggled to gain traction, lacking the business building capacities needed to scale their impact.

And the more famously lamented result: the growing group of quasi pyramid scheme “coaches coaching coaches on selling coaching to coaches.”

Why is this happening? Facilitation and business building are two entirely different domains of mastery.

What’s happening now? The market is getting smarter. Clients are becoming more discerning. The demand for real, lasting transformation is rising, and with it, a new hierarchy for practitioners of transformational facilitation—one based on skill, depth, and authentic results—is emerging.

Celebrating the unregulated market response. We are about to witness, in real time, how a free market itself catalyzes transformation in the transformational coaching industry, leading to a better, richer experience for everyone involved.

Addendum: Opportunities for Collaboration:

There is an opportunity for these 2 paths of Mastery to service each other:

1. What if business-building coaches helped transformational coaches turn their gifts into thriving, scalable businesses?

2. What if transformational coaches helped business builders develop the depth, wisdom, and skill to deliver real, lasting transformation?

3. What if these two groups coached each other, exchanged mastery, and elevated the entire industry?

Would love y'all's feedback on podcasts: here's number #1 . Part of our plan for growing is for me to go on a series of increasingly popular podcasts. I feel great about doing relateful podcasts, but feel like I still need a lot of practice for UpTrust. here's the first one:

"Solving Social Media with Jordan Myska Allen" (i don't get to pick the titles)

• Youtube: https://youtu.be/i2MSY1K9wTc
• Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/solving-social-media-with-jordan-myska-allen/id1714481300?i=1000692941322
• Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6XFLyfHXj7S0OnwdweFfab 

I would love any kind of feedback. What works for you? What doesn't? Any specific phrases stick out as good/bad? What's the most boring? Most interesting? Surprising? etc

benefits of not valuing paying more for quality services? . Was thinking about AI contributing to lower service rates by humans. I feel tension around this inevitable happening and had an insight that since we are moving toward lower costs, this could help usher in Universal Basic Income, a world where we don’t need to worry about how much we are making anyways. Does this make sense? It’s longterm though and there’s still a current today ouch to it all.

benefits of not valuing paying more for quality services? . Was thinking about AI contributing to lower service rates by humans. I feel tension around this inevitable happening and had an insight that since we are moving toward lower costs, this could help usher in Universal Basic Income, a world where we don’t need to worry about how much we are making anyways. Does this make sense? It’s longterm though and there’s still a current today ouch to it all.

benefits of not valuing paying more for quality services? . Was thinking about AI contributing to lower service rates by humans. I feel tension around this inevitable happening and had an insight that since we are moving toward lower costs, this could help usher in Universal Basic Income, a world where we don’t need to worry about how much we are making anyways. Does this make sense? It’s longterm though and there’s still a current today ouch to it all.

benefits of not valuing paying more for quality services? . Was thinking about AI contributing to lower service rates by humans. I feel tension around this inevitable happening and had an insight that since we are moving toward lower costs, this could help usher in Universal Basic Income, a world where we don’t need to worry about how much we are making anyways. Does this make sense? It’s longterm though and there’s still a current today ouch to it all.

Supporting bipartisan Bromance? I think I’m starting to hope that JD and Tim can embrace and mutiny on their respective Presidential candidates.

I like that we’re getting deeper into the issues and realizing it’s not a simple issue solved by rhetoric. I like the civility even though the problems are heartbreaking and terrifying.

Owning activation while posting. A bottleneck I’m encountering is some belief that I shouldn’t post or respond when I’m triggered but there’s a lot of motility and I need to do something new. I’ll be including both what I think the trigger is about and my rebuttal and I’m going to endeavor not to devalue my points because I’m triggered. I’m thinking of putting the awareness of the trigger in parentheses but might play with the format. Feel open now to respond to comments about either

Owning activation while posting. A bottleneck I’m encountering is some belief that I shouldn’t post or respond when I’m triggered but there’s a lot of motility and I need to do something new. I’ll be including both what I think the trigger is about and my rebuttal and I’m going to endeavor not to devalue my points because I’m triggered. I’m thinking of putting the awareness of the trigger in parentheses but might play with the format. Feel open now to respond to comments about either

Owning activation while posting. A bottleneck I’m encountering is some belief that I shouldn’t post or respond when I’m triggered but there’s a lot of motility and I need to do something new. I’ll be including both what I think the trigger is about and my rebuttal and I’m going to endeavor not to devalue my points because I’m triggered. I’m thinking of putting the awareness of the trigger in parentheses but might play with the format. Feel open now to respond to comments about either

Some Thoughts on Boundaries. Boundaries are mine. My portals to connection. They’re statements of fact: “whoops, I’m sorry, it turns out I can’t love from here anymore.”

The purest form doesn’t require anyone else to uphold. I can say “no” to a party I don’t want to go to. I can turn off my phone at bedtime. Asking someone not to interrupt me or not answering emails after work can feel a little trickier to uphold, because I have to be willing to walk away.

There are a bunch of socially agreed upon boundaries that are upheld by law enforcement, like cease and desists or restraining orders. It’s often not simple—in Texas I have a right to refuse anyone setting foot on my property (but what about racism, when my property is a business?).

There are some thoughts for now...