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This reminds me of a conversation I recently had where a few layers down they realized they were afraid of being a terrible person and dying alone. And I was like, excellent, it sounds like making peace with being a terrible person and dying alone will free up a lot of energy for... Emotional Processing is NOT a Healthy Relationship Practice
You may know that I am not about verbal emotional processing. I define this as “speaking about the issues between us while they’re happening.” It can also apply to clearing old resentments or revealing withheld hurt.... How relationships cultivate Who I Want To Be
I have this thing consistently happen in romantic relationships about 10 months in… I find myself doing a full inventory of if my partner is helping me become who I want to be. What am I training myself to do in this connection?... - renee...
My therapist says...
if you have a disorder (I’d call this an undesired response + occurring regularly), don’t apply any strategies, any self-regulating methods to meet the stimulus. Don’t try to lower the fear. Any safety strategies will likely keep it in place.... - Arun...
The assumption is "I should tell you about the worst things I'm feeling. The most important thing is the worst feeling or event that has transpired between us lately. It’s natural that that will be the center of my attention.... On the plethora of Therapeutic modalities
There's a genre of book that's the therapy modality book. They're all the same. They go I was a therapist and what I was doing wasn't working, and then I discovered <specific technique the book is advocating> and then it cured me and all my clients and now things are great and... My first thought here is not a practical one. Surfaces are easy to see, definitionally. Depths are hard to see. So much that is vitally important exists in the invisible.... - onWe have the option to see everything in your life as collaborative; we are scared to say this because we don't want to victim-blame but we're also scared of the possibilities and transcendence that opens upby
I love how you address the victim-blaming this can seem to be. The inner and outer are so entwined, as soon as I learn something about how I work it's immediately tempting to apply it to other people!... - josefine...
Love and play are our natural states of being
Underneath everything is love. If I can’t feel the love, I know there’s something I’m not including in my experience. I must be slightly dissociated if I can’t access some touch of gratitude, love, awe, or flow.... - annabeth...
I’m at the baby step beginnings of trying to learn how to stop pretending not to need anything.
Owning activation while posting
A bottleneck I’m encountering is some belief that I shouldn’t post or respond when I’m triggered but there’s a lot of motility and I need to do something new.... - Arun...
I really like the gaze + small movements – seems almost like a somatic reminder that it's not as bad as it seems to be because look, movement is actually possible.... - david...
Dancing with the World Wound
Have you ever felt like you were born at the wrong time? I was only six years old when Woodstock happened, and humans first stepped on the moon. Amazing times, but I always felt like I had been born slightly out of tune with time.... Being In Love
Love is somewhere to be. Being in Love is nowhere to get. Journeying to love is a beingness outside of love. Love is somewhere to be. I cannot get there. Seeing myself trying to get there is seeing my opportunity to choose to be there.... - nat...
Thank you @Pete. Definitely a new way for me to think about boundaries. I like this: > My boundaries help the connection be truthful and not erode over time. They are the wide, paved, well-maintained paths through which connection is possible for me.... Read the full post This is great. I've been trying to understand for a while why some people seem to get stuck. Reading this it seems like skills from earlier stages actually help us transition the ones that we're in.
- annabeth...
Yeah, hours of YouTube videos. They’re super helpful. And yes on Thomas’ podcast, I’ve been having regular phone chats with him too. Also my therapist recommended a book called "Transcend" by Kaufman. I’m about a third in and it’s pretty legit.... Read the full post Children ought to do meaningful work. Adults ought to do their work like children. However much work is right for a child is the right amount for an adult. That pace is the correct pace for an adult to remain a beginner in all things.... - annabeth...
This is fantastic. I’ve been going toe-to-toe with my avoidant/fearful habits a lot lately, and this is a great description of what I’ve been doing. I’ve been able to peg down three very distinct physical sensations that only happen when I’m in that habituated response, so each...