friendship

... My computer (HP Elite Dragonfly G2) is having a tough time- often using 60-90%+ of memory capacity. it has 16GB, and I've had it for a little over 3 years. 

I use Chrome, which I know is RAM heavy. But I'm wondering if I just need to buy a new computer with more memory since I multitask a lot (I have a ton of tabs open on Chrome). I'm in the zone where it impacts Zoom calls- I can't use any programs that are memory intensive. This is a recent thing- my computer used to perform better. 

What do y'all think?

Wholesomeness culture. I was listening to a cool album Dara and Forest recommended called ten days, and as I was listening to it I had this surge of: ahh yeah, wholesomeness is so cool, I wish it was a bigger trend. And then I'm like: how is it already a big trend to be wholesome, which I'm just not aware of yet? This album feels that way to me. I guess in some way sustainable living, recycling, reusing is wholesome and trendy these days, as well as being honest and kind  (Relatefulness and AR seems to be a little trendy these days), living healthy, supporting local businesses etc.  what else is wholesome and trendy these days? 

Timeline of Events in Brian Thompson Assassination. On December 4, 2024, UnitedHealthcare CEO Brian Thompson was assassinated outside the New York Hilton Midtown. The suspect, later identified as Luigi Mangione, 26, shot Thompson multiple times before fleeing on an e-bike. Thompson was pronounced dead shortly after. Mangione, who stayed in NYC for 10 days prior, was arrested on December 9 in Pennsylvania and charged with second-degree murder. The attack is believed to be a symbolic act targeting the healthcare industry.

November 24, 2024

• 10:11 p.m.: Suspect arrives in New York City on a Greyhound bus from Atlanta, Georgia.

November 24 – December 3, 2024

• Suspect checks into the HI New York City Hostel on the Upper West Side using a falsified New Jersey ID and pays in cash.
• He stays at the hostel for ten days, checking out on December 3.

December 4, 2024

• 5:30 a.m.: Suspect leaves the hostel, likely by bike.
• 6:15 a.m.: Suspect exits the 57th Street F Train subway station.
• 6:17 a.m.: Suspect purchases coffee, water, and granola bars at a Starbucks near the New York Hilton Midtown hotel.
• 6:30 a.m.: Surveillance footage captures the suspect walking while talking on the phone.
• 6:39 a.m.: Suspect arrives in front of the New York Hilton Midtown hotel and waits.
• 6:44 a.m.: Brian Thompson leaves his hotel. The assailant shoots him multiple times, then flees northbound via a pedestrian walkway.
• 6:46 a.m.: Police respond to a 911 call reporting the shooting.
• 6:48 a.m.: Officers find Thompson with multiple gunshot wounds. He is taken to Mount Sinai West hospital. The assailant is seen riding an e-bike into Central Park.
• 6:59 a.m.: Suspect is seen riding a bike on West 85th Street.
• 7:04 a.m.: Suspect enters a northbound taxi at 86th Street and Amsterdam Avenue.
• 7:12 a.m.: Thompson is pronounced dead at Mount Sinai West hospital.

December 9, 2024

• Morning: Luigi Mangione, 26, is arrested in Altoona, Pennsylvania, in connection with the assassination.
• Afternoon: Mangione is charged with second-degree murder and other related offenses.

December 11, 2024

• Mangione appears in court, contests extradition to New York, and is held without bail pending a governor’s warrant.

Schizophrenics on social media. I think that as emotions change it must be seen that at time when one felt angry at the world or sad. It came out on your posts on social media however when the good days come that can also come on social media so social media is a proof how at first how you thought with all the posts you were sending and then next when you feel better how do you talk and post then.

If facebook is a place where people’s negativity is coming out. ok then when one is feeling more in control of ones emotions then a graduate gift could be to come into UPTrust. Where we are open to having dialogues where we can disagree in a peaceful manner yet try and understand where the other person is coming from. Instead of being boisterous or loud. We must accept others beliefs even if its different from our own and we still can be friends. You do what you want I do what I want yet we are together in harmony. Our friendship doesn’t end. But we must respect each other for the choices we are making as what feels right to us we will do even though others have their opinions. What I want for myself must be respected.

How to hold healthy boundaries with people we love but deeply disagree with. I have decided not to travel to attend a dear friend’s wedding because it’s happening less than a week before the election, and my friend very publicly brings their political opinions in ways I disagree with, ways that play into unhealthy and potentially dangerous interpersonal dynamics.

I want to talk to my friend about it. I think they’ll be able to truly hear me if I can find the ways to show up that don’t also fall into the dynamic. I want to be able to do what I wish my friend (and others) would do- stand rooted where I’m at without playing into an I’m right, you’re wrong. I want instead to be able to share, Your method of approach has side effects I don’t want to be around, even to the extent of missing this important and beautiful life event that I would otherwise do everything in my power to attend.

I don’t know what I’m asking y’all for, if anything. But I do have the sense that UpTrust is being built for just this type of thing.

Spiritual Promiscuity, do I need a condom? I’ve discovered something about myself that I knew, but didn’t allow myself to acknowledge. I have a natural and lifelong delight in transgressing boundaries playfully, and a fear of abusing that ability.

When I consider this, I come up with the following as a statement of intent:

The art of promiscuity applied to the challenge of evolving empowerment to empower evolution tickles my soul in profound ways

As I’m leaning into this as in intention for myself and letting go of my own arrogance, I find the lifeforce behind the joyousness of Leela (Hinda Gamefulness or playfulness) in transformation, and I want to invite other children to knock down sand castles of late stage capitalism, not with malice, but fully in delight (and not taking oneself too seriously).

Am I a gift or a curse?

We need new gender categories, while preserving the distinctness of "man" and "woman". I don’t mind using different pronouns—I’m happy to love someone with whatever language they prefer.

But I’d like to propose that deconstructing traditional genders is not only unnecessary, it’s harmful.

Not necessary

• It’s not necessary because we’re free to create as many new genders as we’d like, while preserving the standard ones.

• This is the transcend and include approach, as far as I can tell. The current approaches I’ve seen are either all transcend (reject the historical categories) or all include (reject the creativity and proof-by-existence of new genders).

• I believe this will better honor the person who was misassigned a gender at birth, because their life experience is very different from someone who was assigned the gender they identify with. Eg: if I’m a trans-woman, I didn’t grow up with all the social pressures of being a woman, or going through a menstrual cycle, or whatever; I grew up feeling like a woman but getting the social pressures of being a man, going through the hormonal changes associated with male-body-ness. Which is a totally unique experience, that I will find more belonging and support from other people like me, not from trad-females.

Harmful

• It’s harmful because the people who want acceptance into the traditional category are never going to get it. Eg: If i’m a trans-woman, I was assigned male at birth, and I probably have some male parts and hormones and stuff, so when I try to identify as a woman and join in those discussions and groups that are for women I’m likely to always feel outside, different, and to a certain group of cis-women, threatening.

• This further divides society and polarizes certain populations against including the reality of the trans-experience, which then polarizes the trans-supporters, which begets the vicious cycle.

• Sex differentiation started around 1.2 billion years, so the male-female experience has ancient roots that are in our bodies and impacting us every single second. Denying this altogether is destroying massive chesterotn fences— denies tons of wisdom that is passed down not only culturally over the past 200,000 years, but instinctually for a billion.

What about bathrooms and sports?

Instead we can just have single stall bathrooms and locker-rooms. Or trad-male, trad-female, and a third for whoever of whatever gender, which is much larger than the trad lockerrooms and bathrooms. We can have a third category of sports—all gender. We’re creative, we’re growing, we have plenty of people to populate them and who will want to win, why stick with a binary?

I’m sure I’m missing something, and I apologize to the new-gendered people who I’m sure I’ve insulted or missed somehow. But, leaning in to potentially contentious convo…

She laid down to JUST REST HER EYES but woke to discover that she Napped Way Too Long Again. In this thread, I will be serializing Claude writing this book.

Some Thoughts on Boundaries. Boundaries are mine. My portals to connection. They’re statements of fact: “whoops, I’m sorry, it turns out I can’t love from here anymore.”

The purest form doesn’t require anyone else to uphold. I can say “no” to a party I don’t want to go to. I can turn off my phone at bedtime. Asking someone not to interrupt me or not answering emails after work can feel a little trickier to uphold, because I have to be willing to walk away.

There are a bunch of socially agreed upon boundaries that are upheld by law enforcement, like cease and desists or restraining orders. It’s often not simple—in Texas I have a right to refuse anyone setting foot on my property (but what about racism, when my property is a business?).

There are some thoughts for now...

What's it like to post? Let's note! When I ask myself the question, What am I afraid of?, all I notice is the non-verbal sensation. So, why not name that?, I ask myself again. I sense space and a yes. So, this is what I notice. The freeze in my chest, the heat in my face, the watery eyes, and the soft impulse to just shake it (which I am doing in between typing). There is a quiet, loving hold of my fear, and it seems to give me space. And now, I notice how I write. I write in full sentences, and I seem to make sense.

I now celebrate my first post.

What was it like for you while posting, whether it was your first post or your current one? I’m curious.

What are your sci-fi TV show recommendations? Some i loved that jump to mind:

• The Expanse
• Most of the Marvel stuff like Loki, What If?
• Rick and Morty
• Legends of Tomorrow Etc